13 July, 2005

How To Make Your Mom Pee In Her Pants and Shoot Snot Out Her Nose

Several Saturday's ago I convinced my Mom that life should be spent being on 'Perma-Vacation', only to be interrupted with employment during the week. She loved the mind set and she herself has taken to heart 'Perma-Vacation' (as in "My kids are grown and I do not have to be responsible for anyone except your Father!") with Employment. We have re-named the dwelling the 'House By the Lake' and my Father has gotten into the habit of expounding "It's like Martha's vineyard, isn't Geri! Just like Martha's vineyard!". I have done well brainwashing the old folks!

So on Sunday, I being the good child, ran to the store and got Mom a cold, crisp bottle of chardonnay from Chili and then told her she was on 'vacation' for the weekend. Ooooooooohhhh. By lunch she was nice and tipsy and then asked me if I wanted to "join her at the pool".

This process provides two things:

a) If you spend large amounts of time with your family(which is a requirement in my family and which I very often enjoy but they do drive me nuts) this gives you lots of room to move about without being noticed.


b) Drunk parents are a lot of fun to watch, interact with and laugh at. It is so much fun when they are relaxed and not asking all sorts of incriminating questions which can lead to a lot of other incriminating questions.