29 July, 2005

Death By Lying!

Last night I received an email from a guy that I have created this amazing email and telephone friendship with. Or so I thought. Apparently, over the last 9 months he has been lying to me. This morning he clarified that he was no longer married but separated. To me, he is still married.

2 People + Separated - Not Yet Divorced = Married.

And once again I am left with the floored sinking sickness in my gut that the world is made of liars and I can not seem to find people who like themselves enough to tell the truth.

Am I wearing a sign "Please lie to me!"?

Last year I ended a three year significant relationship over lying. There were quite a few other 'things' involved, but mainly I was so hurt by the lying. Apparently, he had no problem lying to me for as long as he could get away with it. And yes, he was still married but separated too. A fact that I would have liked to have known before I dated you, not 2 years later!

He and I had a rather lengthy month of conversations last November that went around and around and I won't bore you with the crappy details, but there is one that is just too juicy not to share. And it's about the lying.

Here is the LOAD OF CRAP he laid on me. During one of these conversations he informed me that he 'HAD to lie' to me. I kid you the fuck not. HE HAD TO LIE. Why, you asked? Probably as shocked as I was wondering if he honestly believed I would buy this load of bullshit. He lied to me because and I quote "I thought that your expectations were so high, I thought that you would never want a guy like me with my baggage. I never wanted to hurt you. But YOU MADE me lie to you!".


I made all those lies fall out of your mouth?

He went on to explain that 'Your so amazing, blah, blah, blah, your high energy, blah, blah, blah, I just wanted to be the man that you deserved!".


Be the man that I deserve by lying. Contemplate that for a moment with me. Let's say it together, in a mantra type tone. Be the man that I deserve by lie-ing.


Well shit, I would hate to see who the fuck I would end up dating if you didn't try to be the man I deserved.

I think I should lower my standards and date axe murders instead.

And about the boy with the phone and the recent revelation about the lying. Well the good news is, is that he lives really far away and that I did not do anything that I regret. I let him off easy and told him that I would still be his friend. But honestly, the romance and whatever else is just gone.

Lying kills everything.