Conversation that I JUST had with Mike, my ever dorky friend who I LOVE, but G-d bless him!
Mike informed me that I thwarted his opportunity for two alternate plans for this evening. If he was not joining me to see "The Wedding Crashers", he would be either catching a rather gory 1970's Vietnam flick by himself in some Midtown theater OR buying a new book in his favorite bookstore about Abe Lincoln.
To which I responded "Gee Mike, no freaking wonder why your single. You are actually upset that you are joining a hot chick for a movie and drinks and would rather spend a quality Friday evening by yourself holed up in a tiny bookstore happily jacking off to Abe Lincoln!".
Our Russian co-worker; that we never hear from, laughed. OUT LOUD. And hard.
Mike's response: "This is why I love you. Everything I say can be made fun of and you never miss an opportunity".
My response: "Get a clue dude. If not, you will never get laid".