I am writing this Blog as a start to my adventure.
I was born in the burbs outside of New York City. I feel at home with the ocean around me. The sound of a surf break is the most beautiful sound in the world, next to the sound of my baby nephew's laughter. Something inside me feels light when I am not surrounded by glass and cement and steel. Something inside me becomes alive when I leave the city behind.
I have always felt that this life is so confining, as if the world were telling me to be silent. The unnatural ebb and the flow, the constant of the city, always moving, always moving, it gets exhausting after a while.
Initially, I joined this work life to have the money to live the life that I wanted to live. I was fooled into thinking that I could do this corporate thing, play the game on my terms and not let it beat me. I could continue to live my life dictated by my easy standards and non-rules. But that all changed over time. Somewhere along the way the traffic took over. It was easy to get sucked in to their type of living.
And then one day I woke up and realized that all the dreams that I had were fading away and being taken over by someone else's ideals.
I could live in a bathing suit with my hair in a pony tail chucking in a pair of flip-flops. I find expensive clothes and jewelry overwhelming and sometimes wonder what that person is trying to hide. What do I hide when I submit to the standard and dress like them? Cars never impressed me, character does. The need to own three of everything, when one will do. The need to spend so much money on something so small never seemed right to me, never seemed necessary. It always felt forced.
I am usually taken back when others around me are mean or rude, when they say things without feeling what that other person must feel. And then I wonder if in a city this large anyone can actually feel empathy towards others.
I have a propensity to be a bit in awe of the world. I love to travel. I love the smell of the airport, the feeling of take off and the wonder that lies beyond the boarders of another place. Sometimes it's nice to watch and observe people in their natural settings. I like to see how differently people treat each other all over the world. I am always stunned when something as simple as trust is so easily given away. I am also stunned at how easily open hostility can burst forth at a moment's notice.
I love to explore my limits. To see how far I can push myself. I sometimes wonder what I am capable of if given a chance, put in a certain situation, pushed to my capacity. I had an experience sky diving once. I was overwhelmed on the way up and so calm on the way down. I felt tied down, buckled into the harness of a man whom I met about an hour before and then I felt so free strapped to that same man. It was the most mind blowing experience of my life.
I am about to embark on an adventure. I am going to change my life.
I have a dream of pursing the life that I have always wanted. I am going to take a big risk. I know what I need to do this before it's too late. I need to close my eyes, take a deep breathe and just do it.